Northern Ireland’s political leaders have reportedly been rewarded with the promise of a new US investment programme after closing a historic deal last week which saved power sharing. UK Prime Minister Gordon “Gormless” Brown (pictured above with upstanding pair DUP cuckold Peter Robinson – husband of adulteress Iris Robinson - and former IRA commander Martin McGuinness of Sinn Fein) and his Irish counterpart, Brian “Biffo” Cowen, flew into Northern Ireland to put their seal of approval on the deal, which will create a Department of Justice, gives Unionists concessions on the issue of Protestant parades and saves the power-sharing executive from collapse. Mr Brown said the achievements over the longest period of unbroken negotiations since the peace process began 16 years ago were “inspirational”.

Yes sure, if inspirational means it’s OK to use taxpayer’s money to bribe armed thugs to stand down, to appease terrorists by saying you want their guns then not bother asking for them, to permit gang rule to thrive on both sides of the sectarian divide and then delude yourself that things at ground level are any more integrated or multi-denominational than they were before, not to mention papering over all these cracks with mega-numbers of banknotes disguised as “reward investment”, then sure the “Peace Process” is inspirational. In reality it’s an “Appeasement Process” and a mockery of democracy played out by bigots on all sides who reckon their perks, handouts, foreign travel and never ending ego-trip photo opportunities are marginally better for them rather than a return to violence.

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The Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS, above) is set to announce losses of more than £7 billion for 2009 but will still hand out enormous bonuses to its investment bankers. The State-controlled bank, where the British taxpayer owns 84%, is in the final throes of negotiations with the Treasury over its bonus scheme. The talks are expected to conclude within 10 days and it is anticipated that the Treasury will approve a total bonus pool of about £1.3 billion despite the expected losses. You couldn’t make it up. And you have to ask : what would these greedy bankers have to do – or not do -  to persuade this incompetent shower of idiots in the Treasury NOT to grant them their bloody bonuses ?

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Former Prime Minister Tony Blair’s chief spin doctor Alastair Campbell (above left) broke down and seemed close to tears on live television today as he was quizzed about his role in the Iraq war. Mr Campbell suddenly froze in his seat and appeared to be struggling to contain his emotions as he stared blankly at the floor during an interview with the BBC’s Andrew Marr (above right). The political interviewer was asking him about the “dodgy dossier” and whether the ex-PM had misled Parliament over the threat posed by Saddam Hussein when Campbell went into meltdown. Suddenly (apparently) overwhelmed with emotion, Campbell began breathing heavily and seemed to struggle to find any words as a glazed expression fell over his face for several seconds. And now we hear that Gordon Brown, who Campbell is reportedly advising, has recently given an interview to be broadcast next week where HE breaks down. What a coincidence.

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The scientist at the centre of the “climategate” e-mail scandal says he was so traumatised by the global backlash against him that he actually “contemplated suicide”. Professor Phil Jones (pictured above) has reportedly said that he has thought about killing himself  “several times”. In e-mails that were hacked into and seized upon by global-warming sceptics before the Copenhagen climate summit last December, Professor Jones appeared to call upon his colleagues to destroy scientific data rather than release it to people intent on discrediting their work monitoring climate change. Jones says he was unprepared for the scandal: “I am just a scientist. I have no training in PR or dealing with crises.” Interesting remark that, because I always thought it was scientists who told the truth and PR people that lied. Must be the weather.

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